I'm turning my LJ into FRIENDS ONLY because I want to.
I don't want random people reading my LJ.
Comment to be added.

A kiss on the forehead always does feel better.

Sometimes I think it's better not having a best friend at all. It hurts like fuck when she/he chooses their current love who will eventually leave them over their best friend.

Uy, kilig. Uy, kinikilig.

I haven't felt that in awhile. As in the big time kilig that lasts a day. I still can't say more than a day because this day hasn't ended yet. I'm pretty much sure tho that I'll still feel this giddy feeling tomorrow.

Buti na lang umulan. Buti na lang may payong. Waaaaa!

It's Christmas again. Time really flies. Why am I blogging here? It's because I know no one reads my livejournal anymore since I always use Multiply.

I wanna talk my thoughts right now. No holding back.

I never really liked Christmas. For several years, I've spent the holidays abroad. Christmas ain't much of a big deal in America. Christmas in Hong Kong is just too awkward for me. Too many Filipinos I feel as if I'm in Divisoria. I never anticipated for Christmas because I hate feeling the need to give gifts because of a certain occasion. I'm usually a thoughful person - except christmas. I love giving a little something to people. That's just how I am. However, I'm picky during Christmas time. I've said this before in my blog and I'm gon say it again, I don't like Christmas because most people, if not all, forget the essence of Christmas. They're all about the parties and the gift-giving. I like receiving gifts on Christmas, I don't deny that. But the same time I feel sad. Ah, I really can't explain it well.

Christmas day has always been a bad day for me. Something not right always happens. I can't say exactly it's wrong because not because it isn't right, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong. You know what I mean? Last Christmas, I was madd pissed at Carlo. But this year, I wasn't. Actually, I was with him just an hour ago. We exchanged gifts. Haha. And we both love our presents. That's how much we know each other. Mind you, I got him a shirt and he got me a bikini. The shirt fits him well and the bikini fits right on me. We broke up two years ago pa yet we still know each other's sizes. Haha! Wala lang. That thought just made me happy. I truly believe that only a few people will really get to know you inside out. Carlo is one of them. I've known that ever since naman. I just had to type that down. I'm a strong believer that past lovers can never be good friends. I still am. I'm not eating my words with what's happening between my friendship with Carlo. We had a bad break-up. We didn't talk for almost a year. Then we started talking casually. We don't always see each other. We don't make an effort to see each other. We don't talk on the phone. We hardly text each other. We don't claim to be the best of friends; not even close friends. BUT. We're always there for each other. We catch up with each other from time to time. We're civil and we're happy. Are we friends? Yes, we are. More than friends, actually. But not in a romantic way anymore. We'll always be more than friends because we were a big part in each other's lives. We're good.

This is a sad Christmas. I'm not denying it. It's just that no one is even asking me so why would I go and shout that my holiday is gloomy? It's not sad or lonely because I'm single. FYI, I'm single by choice. It's sad because I didn't expect to spend Christmas here. I was expecting to spend Christmas somewhere else. For the nth time, I didn't feel any Christmas spirit. Sabi nila, mas masarap ang pasko dito sa Manila compared to the States or Hong Kong. But if you ask me, it's the same. I actually prefer Christmas abroad coz you get to experience white Christmas. Not only does it look nice, it feels nice. And trust me, the snow falling isn't cold. It only gets cold when the snow begins to melt. =)

Christmas day will be spent with my family. We're just gon have lunch at some funny resto then go home. That's how I will spend Christmas. It's like how I spend my usual Sunday with them.

Hopefully, I will spend the next Christmas in another country. Hopefully, it will be a better one. Way better than this year.

Merry Christmas, y'all.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart.. waking up is the hardest part.

We broke up. But we didn't.
Almost doesn't count.

I love you, okay?

Uh, my Song of the Year? Haha! Gavin, your songs rock. Really. Sa Follow Through pa lang, panalo na eh!

I haven't heard the whole song in months. I was actually trying to avoid listening to the song because it, well, sets me in a sentimental mood. And sometimes it's not exactly a good thing. Haha. Then I heard the song again on New Year's Day. I fell in love with the song again. It was on repeat the whole time I was online and I told myself, "I must put this song on my blog.. I must.. I must.." So, viola!

Hmm.. The title of this entry doesn't seem to make so much sense. Hmm.. Oh well, I can't think of any other title. So pwede na yan!

I'm about to type some of the killer lines of One Tree Hill. Brace yourselves. Haha.

* It was raining hard during the night and they were out on the street. *
Lucas: Brooke, I'm sorry I said that. You're not psychotic. A little disturb, maybe.
Brooke: You think this is funny?
Lucas: No, and I think you're trying to sabotage us by any reason so you can end it so that you don't have to worry about getting hurt again.
Brooke: But the same words, Lucas, the same words?
Lucas: I never sent that letter to Peyton.
Brooke: And I never sent my letters to you either. But they still meant something. Just tell me, why me this time? Why not Peyton?
Lucas: I can't say anything bad about Peyton. She's my friend and she's your best friend.
Brooke: That's okay. You can say bad things about her.
Lucas: Oh, Brooke. The truth is I care about Peyton.
Brooke: Then what is the difference?
Lucas: The difference? The difference is I love you, Brooke. I wanna be with you. Not Peyton.
Brooke: But why? I need to know why.
Lucas: Because you kink your eyebrow when you're trying to be cute. Because you quote Camus even though I've never actually seen you read. And because you miss your parents but you'll never ever admit that. And because I've given exactly two of these embarrasing speeches in my entire life and they've both been with you. I mean, that's got to mean something, right? And because we're both gonna get pneumonia. But if you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night.
Brooke: You did pretty good.
* kisses *

I wonder who my Lucas (the guy on the 3rd season who is every inch in love with Brooke and will remain that way) will be.

I'm trying to rekindle every sweet moment of Lucas and Brooke. I'll be starting on One Tree Hill's 4th season real soon and it's gon be Lucas and Peyton this time. Bitch. I don't like them together. I so can see myself in Brooke. And I really think that Lucas is the guy for Brooke. Sad to say, the creator and scriptwriter think otherwise. Leche.

I'm watching Season Five of Scrubs. I think it's the last season, too. When I started watching Scrubs, all I ever wanted to do was to finish it. And now that I'm watching the last season, I'm delaying it. Haha. Ang labo ko talga, forever. I love JD. Haha!

ALERT: Only Harry Potter fans will be able to relate with this
I finally got a hold of Driving Lessons DVD. I can't wait to watch it. I felt so lucky when I saw it the other day. I didn't think twice about buying it. I'm pretty much sure that it will not be shown here because it's a British film. Most British films aren't shown here and I don't know why. I'm not a total fan of Ron but still. Oh, and Julie Walters is in it, too! Imagine Ron and Mrs. Weasley together in a different movie! Oh man, I'm starting to miss my Rowling class again.

It's 2007. I don't feel it. I can't believe it. Another +1 to my age which totally sucks. I don't look my age and every time I say that, I'm actually not complimetning myself. It's more of dissing myself for looking a few years younger than I really am. This year, I will make things happen. I should. This year will be different for me. There will be no school to go to anymore. No homeworks to cram on. No deadlines to meet, I guess. No school allowance (*sobs*). No more college drama. Every time I think about it, it gives me this different feeling that I can't explain as of now. I feel glad and sad about it in general. What does life have to offer me now? What's in it for me this 2007? Yeh, that's a good question.

I'm already jobhunting.. well, somewhat jobhunting. I still don't want to work. Take note: still don't want to work. But as you all know, I am forced to look for a job. I was talking to a friend the other day about jobs and other future plans. Of course, my original plan of going to law school was mentioned by yours truly. I also told him how my parents didn't want me to go to law school. Then he said something like, "Wow, yung ibang parents nga tuwang tuwa if their kids decided to go to law school.." Well, my parents aren't one of them. It's not just my parents, mind you. Even my grandmother is constantly repremanding me about going to law school. "Wag ka na mag-law, Gem-Gem. Sinungaling ang mga lawyers yada yada yada.." Since I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a lawyer. Either that or be a flight attendant. But now, I have to forget my childhood dream of being a flight attendant because I certainly do not pass the height requirement. m knihioertmvosdg fjghuiosdhdf jerihysduif dogsdrighsviop sdrh . And that's what I call typing bitching. Haha. Anyways, as I was saying.. I want to go to law school. I want to be a lawyer. And you know what hurts the most? I've been dreaming of this long enough just to find out that it's never going to happen. Me being a lawyer will just remain as a thought. A mere thought. I like love planning ahead. I really get irked when things go wrong. I envy a particular friend of mine. He's already working. He plans to work for at least three years then he's going to LSC (yep, that school in London) to take his masteral degree in Economics. After that, he's either going back to the States or here in the Philippines and work.. or he will work wherever his job takes him. I'm envy because I know he can make it happen. And he's the type of guy who's very spontaneous about most things. And here I am having all things planned out and not making it happen. Grr. Nakakaiyak. Seryoso.

Bring on the resume.

On another bitchier note, I'm pissed at Bingo. Yes, you Ignacio. You take everything that I do the wrong way. EVERYTHING. Fine then.

I never really liked Christmas. Every year, another reason is added to my list as to why I could go on and dislike Christmas for the rest of my life. Call me a hater. I don't care. Over the years, people have forgotten the real essence of Christmas. All they think about is what present to give to their family and friends. Also, it's another racket for the shops in the malls especially Hallmark. Hehe. I don't have anything against Hallmark, okay? I'm just saying. Anyway. For the past month, Glorietta has been jampacked of people buying Christmas gifts. I'm at the mall almost everyday and I never even shopped for any Christmas gifts. Like seriously. It's just not my thing. I don't need Christmas to happen just so I could give someone a present. There are 365 days in a year. Yes, Christmas only happens once a year but so does New Year, New Year's Eve, Halloween, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving Day, birthdays, yada yada yada.. You get my drift. You can give a give to someone anytime of the year. You don't have to wait until Christmas.

Another reason why I'm bitter during Christmas is because something bad always happens to me.. as in every year. I don't remember spending Christmas with a sincere smile. I don't see the point of Christmas anyway so it's no biggie whether I'm happy or sad on that day. I'm tired of the it's-the-season-of-giving crap advertisements. You know we all know that it isn't just that. But we never really put deep thoughts on it. Blah.

"Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always explaining things to them."
- The Little Prince

Shiet, Little Prince, you are so wise. Hands down. Haha.

Yesterday, I got in trouble because of Carlo. God, I just love to hate him so much right now. Grr. He's one of the reasons why my Christmas was ruined this year. I'm not gon go into details as to how he ruined my Christmas. It's okay, mabilis ang balik ng karma. I hope he gets it right away. Now, my parents are mad at me. But then again, it's not exactly new since they're always mad at me.

Enough of the Christmas bitching. I hope everyone had a blast yesterday.

My last term in La Salle finally ended. And only sunk in to me on Course Cards day. I don't have any schedules to worry about next term. I don't have to worry about grades. But I have to worry about allowance now. Wala na akong allowance! Shiet! Haha! When January sets in (and that's really soon), I have to start applying for jobs. It's scaring the shit out of me, frankly speaking. I still want to study - either take a masteral degree or go to law school. That has always been my plan. But my parents, being the way that they always are, gave a flat no. They want me to start working. They just want me to experience the working life already. My mom doesn't want me to study and study because she said I will have a hard time eventually when I apply for jobs at the age of 24 and above. Le sigh. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.

I'm 21. But I would mos def pass for a youngin'. And I think like a 40-year-old virgin. Ugh.

Is it really so bad to make things a little bit predictable? Like having a mindset on how your day will go by planning ahead and following it. Somehow, I just hate not knowing what's gon happen next. I know it's impossible to know all the things that will happen later on but that's not my point. I'm just talking about simple plans of me taking masters or going to law school right after college. That's one. Or me working a relationship out with a boyfriend who, hopefully, wouldn't just leave me just because. Or me planning what to wear. Or me planning what I will do for today and tomorrow. That's why we have a planner, people! What was your point of drinking 21 hot and cold coffees in Starbucks if you're just gon put the planner on display?! Puh-lease. I just hate it when things don't go my way. Don't we all?

I'm a fan of Nina's songs. I like most of her songs particularly I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend. Her latest single is Someday. It's a nice song, really. Just don't dwell on the lyics too much. The lyrics are nice but utterly wrong. Yeh, sure someone will eventually take your place. But that someone will never be you. He may be better or just as worse as the one before. So even if someone will take your place and need you the way you wanted to be needed, it would still feel differently because it's with another guy. And you're just left with more questions. And guys see a girl's worth. They do, really. They just either don't know how to handle it or they don't do anything about it. On the contary, guys do not think that they're the last guy on earth. Based from all the guys that I have met, they are just as jealous as girls are. They just don't talk about it bluntly like gurls do. Argh. i could go on ranting about this song but I'm not going to. This song is like PCD's Stickwitu. The lyrics that you just love to hate but love singing to it. Haha!

I think I will be posting entries regularly from now on. One, I don't have school anymore. Two, I don't have to write on my journal everyday anymore since I turned it in for PHILORL. Though, I have another journal that's barely touched. Three, I'm officially a bum now so there's really no left for me to do but to rant online. Haha.

I really wish things are simpler and less complicated. But they aren't. They'll never be.

After not blogging for more than a month here in LJ, here I am again writing an entry. Why? Well, I don't feel like posting an entry on my website. Second.. oh, that's the only reason pala.

I've switched back to the basic account. I realized that I don't need those 15 userpics. I just wanted it during that time. Hence, switching to a plus account. Plus, I haven't been posting here anyway. Also, the free template that I like is used by alot of people. Duh, it's a free template. Even this LJ that I used to read every now and then uses that free template. Baka sabihin nya pa gaya gaya ako. Haha! Yeh, I admit I like that free template because of her and the fact that it shows the userpics. Odba, at least I have the decency to admit that. Unlike some people who bite off from other people and me then they claim like they discovered it and not because they bit off from some cool chick. How pathetic is that?

I'm here at the north conservatory just surfing the net. I'll be here until U-break starts. I'm meeting with this guy at the SPS canteen who has a marketing proposal for my org. Ano kaya yon? I just hope we'll be able to close a good deal. Speaking of my SMS responsibilities, I was finally able to close a deal with Tiger City Boxing Gym last night. Yeh, yeh! Green Alliance cardholders are entitled to a free membership. Yay! Ain't that great? Thanks to Patrick for helping me. He's friends with the owner. Hehe.

I just remembered, our practicum paper is due this Friday. It's like a mini-thesis, ampucha. I'm not even good with writing the RRL. I give credit to Sab and Patrick Ayo for that. Hay naku! I just don't know how I'm gon start on it later. Eto pa, I went to school early and brought my laptop thinking that maybe I could start on it while waiting until U-break. When I turned on my laptop and checked my files in my flash disk, it wasn't there!!!!!!!! I saved it on my desktop computer! I thought I saved it in my flash disk but apparently, I didn't! Whaa!! Todo na ito. Yun lang.

I finally dared myself to watch a movie alone. Geedee told me that she would rather watch alone. Mas okay daw. Well, not for me because I feel asleep! Haha!

"Palayain ang isa't isa. Kung tayo, tayo talga.."
That's all I can say.

I switched from S1 to S2 again because I want to have 15 userpics! But I don't like those ads showing up! Argh! Should I stick with the S1 layout or with this S2 layout?! Argh!

I passed PHILHIS!!!! OMG! I'm so happy! Haha! I literally jumped for joy at the History Department when I got my course card from the secretary! Last Saturday, Sir Mactal told me that he wasn't goin to give me grade until I have my final oral exam on course cards day. I got to school around 11am and when I got to M311, Sir Mactal wasn't there anymore. Actually, I didn't really know where to get my course card because the venue wasn't in mylasalle. Dos just texted me that my prof was at M311. So I hurriedly went to the history department to look for him.

Gem: Miss, anjan ba si Sir Mactal?
Secretary: Wala eh. Bket? Ano ba yun? Course cards?
Gem: Opo. Pero wala pa kce akong grade. Kelangan ko pa mag-take ng oral exam sa kanya today sabi nya.
Secretary: Ah, so wala ka pang grade? Teka, Ano ba name mo? And anong subject? Philhis or Jprizal?
Gem: Rarela. Philhis.
Secretary: Oh, eto. May grade ka naman ah.
*hands me my course card*
Gem: Wow yes! Pumasa ako! Shit, akala ko bagsak ako!

Then I went to LaPiS to fix myself and my things. I waited for Dos then we went to McDo to have lunch. Then we walked back to Agno to meet with Jun then we all went to Ultra for SEAF.

Caffeine fix! Caffeine fix! Someone please accompany me to Figaro!